Fear….Forget Everything and Run
or
Face Everything and Rise!
It’s your choice!
Fear can make people do many things! It is a power like no other. It can make you mad or sad. Make you want to run or fight. It can make you do and say things that you never thought you would or it can make you do nothing at all!
There is a lot of fear in the world right now. Almost a mass hysteria! Which makes people unpredictable. That is really scary. People that you thought would never lash out are and the people you thought would are quiet. Fear changes people and not always in a good way. I know myself when I am frightened I get angry. I have to check myself because it bothers me when I lash out. It leaves a little black mark on my soul. Too many of those and I lose the light. That can not happen. So mostly when I am scared I stay quiet.
I also have to analyze if there is sufficient reason for the fear. Some things you need to just be careful and others there is good reason to be frightened. Some things you have the power to control or influence and some things are out of your realm of control. You just need to ride it out and see how it comes out.
As I sit at the garage with my van broke down again this is My Biggest fear! Everytime she breaks down or a noise appears my thought is “if you break down you are homeless.” That is a fear I live with everyday and have for the last 4 years. Yes I would have a place to sleep, yes I would be safe but I would be homeless. Sometimes I do not think people understand the weight of that fear for me. It is greater than any other fear.
Now I do not scare easily. When I started vanlife people asked me if i was afraid to be out there on my own. Truthfully I was concerned some days. But afraid or fearful no I can not say that it upgraded to a fear. It was actually funny. I think some people were more afraid for me than I was. I lived in the country all my life with my doors unlocked and now all of a sudden I needed a gun to protect myself. Hahaha! I do not do guns. But I do lock my doors! 😊
The fear that is going on in the world is unprecedented and unsubstantiated in my humble opinion. It is fueled by a news media that is not required to be truthful. Its like were are all caught up in this wild tv drama/soap opera. The script written by the people who have the most to gain. I turned off my tv over 4 years ago now and am so very glad I did. I remember a time when journalists had to report the truth or they would be fired. When news media were held at a higher standard. Unfortunately that is not the case today. We no longer have journalists we have fantasy writers and they write whatever story the highest bidder tells them too. How do you know what to believe? How do you know what is actual fact and what is fantasy?
I am very much not a follow along type of girl. I am also a doubter! Which means if I read it I want facts to back it up! Not hearsay or a spin on the truth. Not a piece of the picture but the whole picture. I laugh when I see a picture posted on fb and a story others have created around the picture. A picture…a moment in time. You have no idea what was happening before that moment or after. Someone once posted a picture of me and said I must have been angry by the look on my face. Hahaha! A little spaced maybe but not angry. I was sitting at a table at Action Van’s Party soooo I am guessing spaced is probably it! Lol! But you see how an opinion can be formed with no basis but a picture of a moment in time.
People create drama even if there is none. I think they like it. I am a no drama type of girl. I say what I think and move on. When I first lost everything I had to just back away from everything and everyone. I took a year to get my head wrapped around the new life I was living. When I got back to my circle of people they kept coming up to me and saying how sorry they were that I was so unhappy. Haha! What are you talking about??? Since I had stepped away and said nothing people decided to make up their own story. I was not unhappy, I was pissed at being used, and ripped off. I was adjusting to a lifestyle that was not in my plan of what should lay ahead for me. I was knocked down by the deception of people I thought I could trust. I was certainly not unhappy. I always used to say when I was young and even now, I always like to hear the story of my pretend life. It’s always better than my real one! Lol!
Please make sure what your being fearful of is a real fear. Research it! Do not take people’s word, or opinion for it because most people have their own agenda. If anything this experience has taught me is to question everything. Even if I trust the source.
The van is done and another alternator put on. These guys are awesome at being conscious that this is my home and I need a place to sleep tonight. Wait until I bring them my 69. That will get their motor running! Hahaha! It does that for me.
As I start her up and pat her on the dash at least I know tonight I am not homeless! My greatest fear can rest for today.
Thanks for coming along on my Chipmunk Adventure! See you next time